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Hello NIN Inspired Poetry

#1 User offline   Jabble 

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Posted 18 May 2008 - 11:03 PM

Sleeping with Devils

I'd rather sleep with devils
In red lingerie
Then live by their standards
Conform and obey

I'd rather taste fruit
From the tree of desire
Then live my life fearful
Of brimstone and fire

Cause darling your legs open
And heaven's gates close

I'd rather feel carnal pleasures
And be labeled defiant
Then let my soul wither
Longing but silent

Cause darling your legs open
And heaven's gates close

As I stand outside heaven's gates
You can strip me of my angel wings
But paradise is not lost to me
Because what's wrong with sex
Between consenting adults


Frostbitten Sunsets

Been paralyzed in a disguise
That slashes my mentality
And makes suicide a reality
Depressed, haunted, and constricted
As my sanity's twisted
Frostbitten sunsets you insisted
Persisted we'd find paradise
Poisonous promises-
I was falsely serenaded till I was jaded
Then despair invaded
Incarnate
Venomous devils
Caused my hallucinating dreams
And excruciating screams
Then left me trapped in existence
By depression's persistence

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#2 User offline   Goose 

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Posted 18 May 2008 - 11:51 PM

Please don't ever let anyone remotely involved with the actual band ever read this. If Trent ever found out that this is what his music inspires in people, he'd shove steak knives in his ears to ensure it would be impossible for it to ever happen again.
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#3 User offline   tim 

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 09:02 AM

Jabble: this is not meant unkindly, but when you grow up you will be highly embarrassed if people find these on the internet. For your own sake, don't post any more.
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#4 User offline   Jabble 

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Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:04 AM

Well, thank you for the feedback, even though it appears that you two didn't like the poems. That's ok, honest feedback is always appreciated. Take care.

- Jabble
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#5 User offline   ADSF 

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Posted 02 June 2008 - 05:00 AM

The first one looks more like a song. More importantly a song I wrote when I was 8 and upset at my mom for making me go to a youth group church session.
"What the fuck's in that glass, and who paid for that?" - Maynard James Keenan

"Baby, I don't need no plungers to lay down some pipe." Sir Tubs The Imposter.
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#6 User offline   tim 

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Posted 02 June 2008 - 05:15 AM

Are you suggesting he's infringing your copyright?
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#7 User offline   ADSF 

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Posted 03 June 2008 - 04:39 AM

No I'm suggesting that there is a certain level of acceptability here


...if s/he is 8 and upset at mom for forcing intolerable religious activities on him/her.

This post has been edited by ADSF: 03 June 2008 - 04:40 AM

"What the fuck's in that glass, and who paid for that?" - Maynard James Keenan

"Baby, I don't need no plungers to lay down some pipe." Sir Tubs The Imposter.
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#8 User offline   tim 

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Posted 03 June 2008 - 05:35 AM

Oh, if he's (I don't normally make these assumptions but I'm nigh on positive in this case) 8, then it's quite good (though my advice still goes, don't post it on the internet). I would've said 14.
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#9 User offline   coded 

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Posted 03 June 2008 - 07:03 PM

ASDF is right, those are more lyrics than poems. I fail to see any structure to them outside of rhyming.
If they move... kill'em
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#10 User offline   0boy00 

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Posted 08 June 2008 - 07:39 AM

i'v heard worse. fuck it i'v written worse but i would agree unless you have very thick skin dont post it exspcialy not on this site
"Go fornicate with a petri dish in an AIDS clinic"- goose
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#11 User offline   kristin 

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:22 PM

View Post0boy00, on Jun 8 2008, 09:39 AM, said:

i'v heard worse. fuck it i'v written worse but i would agree unless you have very thick skin dont post it exspcialy not on this site


You are totally missing the point. I think one should introduce himself first before thrusting his shitty poetry on this lovely little community we've got here. It's not appreciated when, right off the bat, someone rolls in here seeking criticism or validation.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word, life. It means forever and that's a mighty long time. But I'm here to tell you there's something else - the afterworld. A world of never-ending happiness. You can always see the sun, day or night. So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills, you know the one, Dr. Everything'll-Be-All-right, instead of asking him how much of your time is left, ask him how much of your mind, baby. 'Cause in this life, things are much harder than in the afterworld. This life you're on your own. And if the elevator tries to bring you down, go crazy - punch a higher floor.
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#12 User offline   0boy00 

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:57 PM

View Postkristin, on Jun 19 2008, 02:22 PM, said:

View Post0boy00, on Jun 8 2008, 09:39 AM, said:

i'v heard worse. fuck it i'v written worse but i would agree unless you have very thick skin dont post it exspcialy not on this site


You are totally missing the point. I think one should introduce himself first before thrusting his shitty poetry on this lovely little community we've got here. It's not appreciated when, right off the bat, someone rolls in here seeking criticism or validation.



im just saying you post stuff like that and it's going to get slated so if your the typ to get offended by ppl saying your poems a load of crap then you shouldnt post it on this site or any other for that matter
"Go fornicate with a petri dish in an AIDS clinic"- goose
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#13 User offline   Jabble 

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 10:34 PM

Awake

As I approach the portal, between consciousness and sleep
I smell the romantic aroma of peach mango scented candles
The sweet fragrance of burning apple cinnamon incense
And intoxicating cherry vanilla perfume, drifting across from the other side

When I crossover into dreams
I hear serpents and scoundrels, speaking in tongues
Sirens singing of carnal delights, for shipwrecked sailors
And a seductive symphony of unconscious desires

I see bright yellow eyes, glowing in the summer moonlight
The reaper and father time playing chess, one of them nearing checkmate
The Phoenix rising from the ashes, of forgotten senses
And vibrant colors of red, orange, blue, pink, and purple

I feel cold hands reaching out from the shadows
Warm breath on the back of my neck, my hairs standing on end
Smooth velvet skin crawling beneath silk sheets
And wet tongues that slither slowly across my chest

At an elegant banquet, I dine on the finest ambrosia
A flavorful assortment of tastes, with sweet spices and marinades
Lobster tails and crab legs, smoked salmon, glazed shrimp, and filet mignon
Cooked vegetables, forbidden fruit, cheesecake with caramel, and white wine

Across the crowded ballroom, and through a maze of forgettable faces
I see a beautiful woman in a black sequined dress
She has soft white skin and long auburn hair
Red fingernails and a radiant smile, behind crimson lipstick

Her eyes are mysterious and mesmerizing
The right one is light blue
And the left one is dark green
Neither seem confined by mortality, or concerned with time

After a few moments she notices my transfixed gaze
And our eyes meet in a moment of unconscious destiny
Then she smiles seductively, and confidently walks towards me
As she approaches, I can smell her intoxicating perfume<br style=""> <br style="">
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